A Blog Post by Judy Thompson, Director Mind Body Services:
Sometimes when I feel alone or sad or misunderstood I want to run. Run away from my life, people who don’t understand me, people who I’ve decided look at me funny, and the pressures and pain of my failures and non-accomplished goals. The thoughts come, I pay attention to them, and I spin myself up in a fury of anger, fear, sadness, worry and despair. Emotions are very good at controlling our attention, after all, they are energy in motion. But all of these emotions, especially the anger, fear, sadness and worry, don’t really present well, feel good, nor bring us closer to our authentic self.
The couples that comes to sit and meditate out loud, (couples therapy), with me have many things in common. As with all they approach therapy seeking to understand, as Thich Nhat Hanh has illuminated, “Misunderstanding is the source of all suffering”. If we do not understand the person we are trying to love then in trying to love them our way we may in fact be hurting them. So couples come into session to be still with each other and to understand HOW to love their beloved properly. It is through understanding the others needs and hopes and heartfelt desires that we love well. Pain and heartache is the clue that we are not loving or being loved well; we are misunderstanding something.
This time of year for a psychotherapy practice is the busiest. This is the month of the “new me”, the “new you”, the “new us” resolutions and promises. These are the agreements we make to ourselves, to our children, to our lovers to reach toward change; reach towards more love, more patience, more understanding, more meditation, more presence, more… They often feel and sound familiar, these are the intentions we have been intending all of last year, the whispers or shouts from that part of us, that place inside of us that holds our truths – our true selves. How do we get so lost, how does this awareness get so vague, when we recognize so completely what we know so clearly?